Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Who's on Wordfeud?: Husky Meerkats

So, what happens when I run across a person who is as crazy as I pretend to be? This happens.

CAMM: It's not like I've ever seen a meerkat. I just figure a husky one would be more appealing to me than an emaciated one.

Yup, this is how I start out the conversation with this pimply-faced redheaded teen boy. Ten seconds after our game started, before either of us played a single word, and as if we had been having this conversation for hours already. This guy didn't skip a beat in his reply.

PIMPLES: Meerkats? Hmm. Aren't they merely monkeys? Like another word for a monkey? I think I learned that somewhere.

I like him already, the son of a bitch!

CAMM: I can't say for sure but riddle me this: if it IS a monkey, wouldn't you rather have a husky monkey than one so skinny his frail arms would snap mid-tree swing?

PIMPLES: Oh, I'd take a monkey right now! I'd take a monkey anytime, skinny or fat.

CAMM: HEY NOW! You look pretty young in your picture! I will NOT discuss sex with you!

PIMPLES: Lololo. I was talking about actual monkeys. I've never had sex. Yet.

CAMM: I bet husky meerkats fuck like monkeys.

CAMM: I don't retain information so well.

PIMPLES: Riddle ME this mistacamm, WHERE would you house and WHAT would you feed a husky meerkat? I would have to do some research but let's go under the assumption that they are carnivorous. If you have a boner for keeping him or her chunky, then you're talking alot of meat here. And where do you live? Unless it's on Wacko Jacko's former ranch, I'm sure you would need some sort of permit at the very least.

PIMPLES: Have you even googled the temperment of meerkats? I hardly met you but I'm starting to fear for your safety. I have a feeling that husky meerkats are capable of going very bath saltsy on you.

HA! This crazy kid actually made me laugh out loud!! I like him, I really do.

CAMM: I will not dignify that with an answer! Besides, there are sanctions and secret societies of which I am part of that prevents me from speaking more on the subject of meerkat housing and feeding.

PIMPLES: Hmmph! Pussy.

CAMM: Ok. Fine. I live in a one bedroom apartment in Los Angeles and I can hardly provide enough meat for myself. HAPPY NOW???

PIMPLES: Just as I suspected. I'll be away from the game for a bit. Tonight is taco night at my cousin's house. Catch ya later! Stay away from meerkats!

CAMM: I feel like I just got owned.

Oh, I am SO not done with PIMPLES! I'm gonna keep this one around. There's just too much to explore here. And I wasn't lying about feeling like I got owned. This kid's crazy quickly out-shined any fake crazy I could've brought to the table on this subject. Kudos.

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