I started a random game with a guy that somehow kept going in spite of my constant rambling. Most people would have bailed on me, but not this guy. What you're about to read is a six day long saga.
Kevin: Do you smell your own farts?
Nothing. One day later.
Kevin: I like my farts.
Thirteen hours later.
Kevin: I just had a good fart. It was thick and hung in the air for a bit.
Seven and a half hours later. "John" continues to play silently.
Kevin: I just farted, and a little poo came out.
Kevin: It was a small nugget with hairs in it.
Kevin: I think I have diarrhea.
The next day. I'm still not getting anything.
Kevin: I made a big doodie today.
Seven hours later, I decide to step it up.
Kevin: I laid on my back and sprayed shit in my own mouth.
Still nothing! I begin to get colorful with my language. The next day.
Kevin: I'm making feces right now. It's warm and squishy as it slides betwixt my cheeks.
The next day.
Kevin: I'm pooping right now. It smells of sandalwood and vanilla.
I woke up at 4 AM the next day and decided to message my silent friend.
Kevin: I woke up to take an early morning evacuation. It flowed out of me like soft serve.
Later that afternoon.
Kevin: I've been spreading anus quiefs all around town today. I must have eaten something strange.
Kevin: I mean these are horribly rancid colon belches.
Kevin: A passerby dry heaved from my rectal fragrance.
Kevin: Man, you should see what just came out of me. It turned back at me and said hello.
Seven hours later, I try to bait him into replying.
Kevin: My nighttime manure leavings are very large. I would love to send you a photograph of it.
Kevin: It looks like Lincoln crossing the Delaware.
Even my historical inaccuracy didn't grab him. Early the next morning.
Kevin: There's nothing like first morn's dook. Know what I nean?
Later that afternoon.
Kevin: I just felt a peanut scrape past my hemorrhoid.
A few hours later, he plays QUARTS.
Kevin: Speaking of QUARTS, I just loosed about three quarts of liquid brownie in my porcelain depository.
A few hours later, John plays the final and winning word of our game. Finally, I am acknowledged.
John: Poop.
I stood in my home and applauded.
Kevin: Well played, sir. Well played.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Who's on Wordfeud?: Pissed Off
As I previously mentioned, I ended up getting two games each with two different people after requesting a random game. I tried to get rid of this guy quickly, but it took a little while. Like my other double, his icon was a close-up of his smiling face.
Kevin: I like to pee sitting down. You?
No answer. The next day, he plays FAGS. Opportunity!
Kevin: Hey man. That's not cool. Would you play niggers if the letters were there? Not cool. By the way, you look cute. Want your dick played with?
Smiley: No thanks I don't go that way
Kevin: Oh, you like to do the playing. I figured you for a bottom.
Kevin: Do you use lube or go dry? Spit maybe?
Kevin: Answer me, bastard!
He then changes his icon to a picture of trees. The word he plays is PLOW. At this point, I try to step it up.
Kevin: Plow, like what happens to your asshole.
Kevin: You like piss play? I bet you do.
No answer. Eight hours go by before he plays another word.
Kevin: Are you peeing on yourself right now?
He resigns. The next day, he changes his icon back to his face, probably not realizing that I still see the closed out games.
Kevin: I see you.
Kevin: I like to pee sitting down. You?
No answer. The next day, he plays FAGS. Opportunity!
Kevin: Hey man. That's not cool. Would you play niggers if the letters were there? Not cool. By the way, you look cute. Want your dick played with?
Smiley: No thanks I don't go that way
Kevin: Oh, you like to do the playing. I figured you for a bottom.
Kevin: Do you use lube or go dry? Spit maybe?
Kevin: Answer me, bastard!
He then changes his icon to a picture of trees. The word he plays is PLOW. At this point, I try to step it up.
Kevin: Plow, like what happens to your asshole.
Kevin: You like piss play? I bet you do.
No answer. Eight hours go by before he plays another word.
Kevin: Are you peeing on yourself right now?
He resigns. The next day, he changes his icon back to his face, probably not realizing that I still see the closed out games.
Kevin: I see you.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Who's on Wordfeud?: The "N" Word
For this one, I changed my display picture so that the middle aged white woman wouldn't know that she was, in fact, chatting with a black man. Not that she did much chatting ... until she did.
Camm: These niggers on The Wire are way too niggerish for me. You ever watch this thing? I'm never going to Baltimore.
No reply. Five minutes later.
Camm: I mean, they make 50 Cent look like Justin Beiber!
Four minutes later.
Camm: Scoundrels! The whole dirty lot of em!
Six minutes later.
Camm: They're like wild monkeys. Maryland IS the planet of the apes!
Eight minutes later.
Camm: I don't know which is more disgusting: the big lips or the big black penises! Do I really need to see this?
Seven minutes later.
Camm: I'm turning this off. This "show" is just as screwy as pig cock.
Two minutes later, this FINALLY garners a response from her:
Quiet Racist: I think that maybe a good ideea. I cant say I dont agree with some of what you said. My daughter is going out with a nigger and Im well pissed about it but maybe you shouldnt say these things to strangurs on a phone game. You know?
At this point, I changed my display pic back to my handsome negro face and wrote the following:
Camm: WOW! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL YOU RACIST SCALLYWAG!!!
She resigned.
Camm: These niggers on The Wire are way too niggerish for me. You ever watch this thing? I'm never going to Baltimore.
No reply. Five minutes later.
Camm: I mean, they make 50 Cent look like Justin Beiber!
Four minutes later.
Camm: Scoundrels! The whole dirty lot of em!
Six minutes later.
Camm: They're like wild monkeys. Maryland IS the planet of the apes!
Eight minutes later.
Camm: I don't know which is more disgusting: the big lips or the big black penises! Do I really need to see this?
Seven minutes later.
Camm: I'm turning this off. This "show" is just as screwy as pig cock.
Two minutes later, this FINALLY garners a response from her:
Quiet Racist: I think that maybe a good ideea. I cant say I dont agree with some of what you said. My daughter is going out with a nigger and Im well pissed about it but maybe you shouldnt say these things to strangurs on a phone game. You know?
At this point, I changed my display pic back to my handsome negro face and wrote the following:
Camm: WOW! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL YOU RACIST SCALLYWAG!!!
She resigned.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Who's on Wordfeud?: 10.5 on the Richter Scale
This one was interesting. I tried to add a random game and instead got two each from two different people. I was getting bored and wanted to get one of them to resign quickly. I chose a woman who had a nice smiling face shot for her icon. I expected her to go out with a whimper. Instead, "Wendy" got a little crazy.
Kevin: Do you like sex with strangers?
Wendy: Seriously? Grow the fuck up! This is a game on your fucking phone not a place to hook up.
Kevin: I wasn't trying to hook up. I was just asking. I don't like fat girls anyway.
(Calling a girl fat is the best way to get her riled up, whether she actually is or not. Let me tell you, it worked. Wendy immediately resigned from both games I had with her and changed her profile picture to show her with a guy.)
Wendy: First off, I'm not fat you ignorant piece of shit. Second, why would you ask a stupid question like that if you weren't looking to hook up.
Wendy: It seems to me that you are either an actual idiot that can't get laid on his own and has to chat it up with girls on a game.....
(Aren't you supposed to chat girls up to get laid? Wasn't I on my own?)
Wendy: Or you have a pathetically small dick and this game is still the only way you can get a girl. Either way it's ridiculous
Wendy: Good luck getting laid you dumb fuck. Maybe some dumb ass girl will fall for your "charm"
(Come on, ladies. It's time to think of something better than small peepee to insult a guy. If you can pull off getting laid through this game, you're a genius, especially considering the rare chance you're even geographically close to that person.)
Kevin: You got me. My dick is only 10.5 inches long. For a girl with a vagina as big as yours, that's tiny. Is that the guy you're going to send to beat me up? Does he like sex with strangers?
Kevin: I like his mouth.
Kevin: I just had sex with 3 bitches. They like my man dangler.
Wendy: Trannys don't count as bitches..... homo!
Wendy: You are what I like to call a whore.... enjoy your std's
Wendy: 10.5 you wish!
Kevin: If trannies bottom, they are bitches. I don't have stds, because I turned you down.
Kevin: 10.5. I can make a shish-ka-bitch.
Wendy: Homo. You are a fag.....you need to turn your tape measure over from centimeters to inches before a scronny white boy claims 10.5!
Kevin: 10.5 is what your fat ass hits on the Richter scale when you fart.
Wendy: Wow. Back to the insults huh.... Don't you have an HIV anonymous mtg to attend?
Kevin: You call me names and complain about my insults? I use condoms. You know, those things that would have prevented all your abortions.
That was the last I heard from her. I think she gave up. I do enjoy the scrapping, even if it's make believe.
Kevin: Do you like sex with strangers?
Wendy: Seriously? Grow the fuck up! This is a game on your fucking phone not a place to hook up.
Kevin: I wasn't trying to hook up. I was just asking. I don't like fat girls anyway.
(Calling a girl fat is the best way to get her riled up, whether she actually is or not. Let me tell you, it worked. Wendy immediately resigned from both games I had with her and changed her profile picture to show her with a guy.)
Wendy: First off, I'm not fat you ignorant piece of shit. Second, why would you ask a stupid question like that if you weren't looking to hook up.
Wendy: It seems to me that you are either an actual idiot that can't get laid on his own and has to chat it up with girls on a game.....
(Aren't you supposed to chat girls up to get laid? Wasn't I on my own?)
Wendy: Or you have a pathetically small dick and this game is still the only way you can get a girl. Either way it's ridiculous
Wendy: Good luck getting laid you dumb fuck. Maybe some dumb ass girl will fall for your "charm"
(Come on, ladies. It's time to think of something better than small peepee to insult a guy. If you can pull off getting laid through this game, you're a genius, especially considering the rare chance you're even geographically close to that person.)
Kevin: You got me. My dick is only 10.5 inches long. For a girl with a vagina as big as yours, that's tiny. Is that the guy you're going to send to beat me up? Does he like sex with strangers?
Kevin: I like his mouth.
Kevin: I just had sex with 3 bitches. They like my man dangler.
Wendy: Trannys don't count as bitches..... homo!
Wendy: You are what I like to call a whore.... enjoy your std's
Wendy: 10.5 you wish!
Kevin: If trannies bottom, they are bitches. I don't have stds, because I turned you down.
Kevin: 10.5. I can make a shish-ka-bitch.
Wendy: Homo. You are a fag.....you need to turn your tape measure over from centimeters to inches before a scronny white boy claims 10.5!
Kevin: 10.5 is what your fat ass hits on the Richter scale when you fart.
Wendy: Wow. Back to the insults huh.... Don't you have an HIV anonymous mtg to attend?
Kevin: You call me names and complain about my insults? I use condoms. You know, those things that would have prevented all your abortions.
That was the last I heard from her. I think she gave up. I do enjoy the scrapping, even if it's make believe.
Who's on Wordfeud?: Ferrets Need Love Too
This portly gal never typed a single word to me but caught my eye specifically because her display pic was of her with a few cats flanking her head. Too easy.
Camm: Oooh! A cat lady! I love me some cat ladies!!!
Two mins later. She didn't reply but she played a word and changed her picture ... no more cats.
Camm: Awww man! What happened to the cats?
No reply. Three minutes later.
Camm: I was just joking. I don't like cats. I don't even like ladies. UNLESS they're as striking as you are!
No reply. Two minutes later.
Camm: So, seriously ... the picture was small. Was that a couple of cats bookmarking your face or was it some type of neck ferret?
No reply. Two minutes later.
Camm: I'm gonna go with neck ferret. A ferret for your neck. You should be careful, some of those things carry a rare strand of rabies that migrated from one of those sand countries.
One minute later.
Camm: I feel sorry for your neck. And your mother.
She resigned from the game but after she resigned i sent one last message:
Camm: Hey! Come back!! I didn't even get to send you a photo of my taint yet!!
Camm: Oooh! A cat lady! I love me some cat ladies!!!
Two mins later. She didn't reply but she played a word and changed her picture ... no more cats.
Camm: Awww man! What happened to the cats?
No reply. Three minutes later.
Camm: I was just joking. I don't like cats. I don't even like ladies. UNLESS they're as striking as you are!
No reply. Two minutes later.
Camm: So, seriously ... the picture was small. Was that a couple of cats bookmarking your face or was it some type of neck ferret?
No reply. Two minutes later.
Camm: I'm gonna go with neck ferret. A ferret for your neck. You should be careful, some of those things carry a rare strand of rabies that migrated from one of those sand countries.
One minute later.
Camm: I feel sorry for your neck. And your mother.
She resigned from the game but after she resigned i sent one last message:
Camm: Hey! Come back!! I didn't even get to send you a photo of my taint yet!!
Who's on Wordfeud?: Wicked Witch Hazel
Keep in mind that she had "N0_ChAt" as part of her username. Haha! Yeah, right.
Camm: I'm thinking of rubbing down a female fitness model with witch hazel, but in a non sexual manner. Good idea or bad?
Non-Chatterer: Lol. Why witch hazel?
Camm: Rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide could sting. Plus, witch hazel retains your skin's moisture. I'm all about the moist skin.
Non-Chatterer: Well, there ya go!
Camm: Sometimes I consider becoming obese so that I can lose weight. Then, I would have tons of loose skin to moisturize.
Non-Chatterer: OOOOOkay. This is taking a turn.
Camm: To every season, turn, turn, turn. I bet Ringo's skin is sauna-worthy moist. What I wouldn't give to caress one of those damp folds.
Non-Chatterer: LOL! Am i being punked?
Camm: Ugh! Ashton Kutcher's skin moisture looks like it was sucked in by Demi's desert-like vagina. She takes all the juices and now he's sand nigga dry. Not fair.
Non-Chatterer: I think I'm probably being punked but either way, I'm outta here.
Camm: I should go too. I have an appointment to sit in a slightly hotter than warm vat of intensive healing lotions at my neighbor's house. The tub is quite filthy actually, but the regenerative effects are nuthin to scoff at. Stay moist my friend!
Camm: I'm thinking of rubbing down a female fitness model with witch hazel, but in a non sexual manner. Good idea or bad?
Non-Chatterer: Lol. Why witch hazel?
Camm: Rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide could sting. Plus, witch hazel retains your skin's moisture. I'm all about the moist skin.
Non-Chatterer: Well, there ya go!
Camm: Sometimes I consider becoming obese so that I can lose weight. Then, I would have tons of loose skin to moisturize.
Non-Chatterer: OOOOOkay. This is taking a turn.
Camm: To every season, turn, turn, turn. I bet Ringo's skin is sauna-worthy moist. What I wouldn't give to caress one of those damp folds.
Non-Chatterer: LOL! Am i being punked?
Camm: Ugh! Ashton Kutcher's skin moisture looks like it was sucked in by Demi's desert-like vagina. She takes all the juices and now he's sand nigga dry. Not fair.
Non-Chatterer: I think I'm probably being punked but either way, I'm outta here.
Camm: I should go too. I have an appointment to sit in a slightly hotter than warm vat of intensive healing lotions at my neighbor's house. The tub is quite filthy actually, but the regenerative effects are nuthin to scoff at. Stay moist my friend!
Who's on Wordfeud?: A Little Spice
No matter what this guy's answer was, it was going to be wrong.
Kevin: Who is your favorite spice girl?
Random Guy: that is a faggot issue to be on
Kevin: Why is that a faggot issue?
Random Guy: How u gone ask anothere man about spicegirls u sissy
Kevin: YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT THE GREATEST POP GROUP OF ALL TIME! YOU COCKSUCKER!!!! I HOPE YOU GET DIARRHEA AND IT RUNS DOWN YOUR LEG!!!! FUCK YOU BITCH ASS BITCH!
Kevin: Who is your favorite spice girl?
Random Guy: that is a faggot issue to be on
Kevin: Why is that a faggot issue?
Random Guy: How u gone ask anothere man about spicegirls u sissy
Kevin: YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT THE GREATEST POP GROUP OF ALL TIME! YOU COCKSUCKER!!!! I HOPE YOU GET DIARRHEA AND IT RUNS DOWN YOUR LEG!!!! FUCK YOU BITCH ASS BITCH!
Episode 44 - Totally Psyched
Camm and Kevin discuss Abnormal's amazing growth that seems to have no end. They also break into their own psyches. Is Kevin a bully? Should Camm be more effeminate?Kevin gets out of control with Who's on Wordfeud? They even have an entry from their favorite listener. He then reveals a horrible mid-coitus thought that he had.
The boys close out with a recap of the wildly successful event known as Fancy Nigga Day.
To listen, click here. To download, right click and "Save As..."
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Episode 43 - Fancy Nigga Day
Camm starts off with an odd dream he had, and he asks Kevin to explain it. Kevin then shares a sex dream of sorts that left him hanging before talking about his financial woes.Camm explains how boredom led to our new game/segment Who's on Wordfeud? After that, Kevin chimes in with some News From the Future that involves our own Sean Salas.
Kick back with a drink and a cigar and enjoy. After all, it is Fancy Nigga Day!
To listen, click here. To download, right click and "Save As..."
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Episode 42 - Con-taminated
Camm and Kevin discuss the goings on at Phoenix Comicon. They break down what happened at the panel and live podcasts, the barbecue at Kevin's house and all the drunken tomfoolery in between.Somehow, the recording got screwed up in the end, so the show was cut a little short, but don't worry. Camm steps in with a short message, and Kevin does something that will make you want to punch him in the mouth.
To listen, click here. To download, right click and "Save As..."
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
You can always email Camm and Kevin at ryspodcast@gmail.com.
Please support us by supporting our sponsors.
Use the coupon code SPIRITS at checkout to get this great deal!
Shop at Amazon.com and support Abnormal Entertainment!
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